Batter up!! Baseball is America’s sport and we are big fans at our house. Here are lots of friendly baseball jokes for the kids to share in the dugout.
Baseball Jokes for Kids
As always, all of our jokes are kid-friendly and clean. You can scroll down to the bottom of the post to get our FREE printable jokes that work great for lunchboxes, putting in baseball treat bags or “joke of the day” fun! So scroll through our list and find your family’s favorite clean baseball jokes!
Q: How long did the baseball player spend in the library?
A: Five minutes. It was a short stop.
Q: Which baseball player loved ﬁreplaces?
A: Mickey Mantle.
Q: Which baseball player makes pancakes?
A: The batter!
Q: What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A: A fly swatter.
Q: What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
A: “Catch ya later!”
Q: What’s a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie?
A: The Umpire Strikes Back.
Q: Which baseball player holds the water?
A: The pitcher.
Q: Why is baseball stadium the coolest place to be?
A: Because it’s full of fans.
Q: How do baseball players keep in touch?
A: They touch base every once in a while.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team!
Q: Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball?
A: She had a pumpkin for a coach.
Q: What are the rules in zebra baseball?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.
Q: Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
Q: What are lumberjack baseball players really good at?
A: Being the cut-off man.
Q: Why did the baseball coach bring a traffic light to the game?
A: To send signals.
Q: What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
A: The base line. (bass line)
Q: Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball catcher?
A: He knew he had a chest protector.
Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.
Q: How is a baseball team similar to a pancake?
A: They both need a good batter.
Q: Which animal is best at hitting a baseball?
A: The bat.
Q: Why did the baseball player go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted a sales pitch.
Q: Where does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform?
A: New Jersey.
Q: Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.
Q: Where shouldn’t a baseball player ever wear red?
A: In the bull pen.
Q: What do baseball players put their food on?
A: Home plates.
Q: Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd base, or from 2nd base to 3rd base?
A: 2nd to 3rd because there is a short stop in the middle.
Q: When should baseball players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.
Q: What did the baseball player do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He stole the base and went home.
Q: What cartoon character is the best at baseball?
A: Homer Simpson.
Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player?
A: Babe Root.
Q: What type of baseball do they play in England?
A: Tea Ball.
Q: Why are baseball players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.
Q: Where did the baseball player wash his socks?
A: In the bleachers.
Q: Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.
Q: Why don’t baseball players join unions?
A: They don’t like to be called out on strikes.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?
A: Never mind. It’s over your head.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton play baseball?
A: His heart wasn’t in it!
Q: What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?
A: The swings.
Q: Why are frogs good outfielders?
A: They never miss a fly.
Q: What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?
A: A double header.
Q: Why are baseball games at night?
A: Because bats sleep during the day.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch?
A: Oops – You just missed it.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pitcher with the Invisible Man?
A: Pitching like no one has ever seen.
Q: Why are singers good at baseball ?
A: They have a perfect pitch.
Q: Where do baseball bats wash up?
A: In the bat tub.
Q: What do you get when you cross a baseball pitcher with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: What do catchers wear on Halloween?
A: Face Masks!
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the baseball team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: Why didn’t the dog want to play baseball?
A: It was a boxer.
Q: Which baseball player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: Where do pitchers go to dance?
A: To the base ball!
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug baseball teams?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.
Q: Which state should the Pittsburgh Pirates move to?
Q: What is harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath!
Q: What is it called when a dinosaur gets a home run?
A: A dino-score!
Q: Who is the Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates?
A: Captain Hook!
Q: Why shouldn’t you play baseball in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs!
Q. Why did the baseball player bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score!
Q. What runs around a baseball field but never moves?
A: A fence.
Q: What did the bumble bee baseball player say after crossing home plate?
A: Hive scored!
Q: Which great Yankee baseball player lived in a park?
A: Yogi Beara!
Printable Baseball Jokes
Download your FREE printable baseball jokes.
If you want to do a joke a day with your family, all you need is an 8.5″ x 11″ sheet of paper or cardstock and your printer! You can print these lunchbox notes to leave around the house, surprise your kids with one in their lunch, or just take a laugh break together!
More Jokes for Kids
If you’re looking for more fun jokes for kids, check out funny football jokes for kids and Spring jokes for kids!
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