31 HALLOWEEN JOKES FOR ADULTS
Humor can go such a long way and one of my favorite things to do with the kids is laugh. A little laughter can make a not-so-great day into a better one and can even turn a good day into a fabulous one! We also love the holidays around here and Halloween is the first one that really kicks it off in our house. So Halloween jokes and Halloween riddles have become part of our family tradition now that the kids love jokes. Whether you share these with your kids or just amuse yourself, be sure to let us know which ones are your favorites!
FUNNY HALLOWEEN JOKES FOR ADULTS
Q: What do you call a dancing ghost? A: Polka-haunt-us. Q: What do you call a cheesy Halloween dance? A: The muenster mash! Q: When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? A: On Fry Day. Q: How do you write a book about Halloween? A: With a ghostwriter. Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A: At the casketeria. Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash? A: They have bat breath. Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday? A: Fangsgiving. Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost? A: “Do you believe in people?” Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A: Bamboo. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the carnival? A: The roller ghoster. Q: When does a ghost have breakfast? A: In the moaning. Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin’ Goblin.MORE FUNNY HALLOWEEN JOKES FOR ADULTS
Q: What is in a ghost’s nose? A: Boogers. Q: What do you call a little monsters parents? A: Mummy and Deady. Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A: You suck. Q: What is a Skeleton’s favorite song? A: Bad to the Bone. Q: What did the witch do on her birthday? A: She spellabrates. Q: What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A: A human bean. Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? A: No, they eat the fingers separately. Q: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes? A: A cereal killer. Q: How does a witch tell time? A: She looks at her witch watch. Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? A: Don’t spook until you’re spoken to. Q: What is a vampire’s favorite sport? A: Casketball. Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night? A: Tweets.
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Veinilla.
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Q: What do you call a ghost on the ceiling?
A: High-spirited.
Q: What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
A: Fish and ships.
Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
A: Vanishing cream.
Jennifer Reed says
I like What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Adrienne Gordon says
What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor is my favorite.
Ellie Wright says
My favorite is Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Ann Fantom says
I like:
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
kathy Persons says
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Veinilla.
Amanda L. says
My favorite one is the vampires favorite ice cream flavor.
Cynthia C says
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Maureen says
I thought the one
What’s a monster’s favorite bean?
A: A human bean.
Ashley C says
I like the one about why mummies done take vacation
Kelly Kimmell says
I like tis one: What do birds give out for Halloween? Tweets!
Jessica W. says
My favorite Halloween riddle is the Fettuccine Afraid-o!!
KELLY10 says
MONSTER MONEY -FETTUCCINE AFRAID DOUGH!
marina says
The pumpkin patch one is my favorite
Lisa Bourlier says
Q: What is a Skeleton’s favorite song?
A: Bad to the Bone.
Linda Lansford says
Fettuccini Afraid-o
beth shepherd says
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Charlotte W. says
This is my favorite: Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations. A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Kari E Crum says
Love the “Fettucine Afraid-O” joke! All are cute, though!
Nicole Byer says
I liked the Pumpkin Patch one the most
Debbi Wellenstein says
My favorite joke:
Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
paige chandler says
I like Q: What do you call a ghost on the ceiling? A: High-spirited.
mary chapman says
I liked the Hoblin’ Goblin joke.
Denise M says
I like this one and so did my kids
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Anne Higgins says
Grandchildren have agreed that this is the best for our family :
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Rosie says
We like – What do you call a witch’s garage? – a broom closet!
Mellissa C says
What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies
Katherine S says
What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies
Emily R. says
I like this one the best!
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
Debbie Erickson says
My favorite is What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Veinilla
Aly W says
My favorite joke was about the vampires favorite flavor being Veinilla.
Melissa says
i love this one! Q: What did the witch do on her birthday? A: She spellabrates.
Casandra LaMonaca says
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Debra Guillen says
Q: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A: A cereal killer.
Alexandra Y says
What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.
Chrystal D says
I like this one:
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking? A pumpkin patch
crystle tellerday says
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Trisha W says
There were many jokes that I appreciated. This was one of them:
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
Antoinette M says
“What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets.” I like this one!
Amanda Hoffman says
I like thr one What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until you’re spoken to.
Natalie says
My favorite is:
Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
A: Vanishing cream.
Minta Boggs says
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!!
Laurajj says
Oh I have have a few favorites! I will say Q: What do you call a cheesy Halloween dance?
A: The muenster mash!
So funny! :)
LindaG says
My favorite is Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind
Renee G says
I like the What do sea monsters eat for lunch? one.
Kiara says
I like this one.
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Tracy Pryor says
Q: When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims?
A: On Fry Day.
Rosanne says
My favorite one is Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
Lisa says
I like the Witch Watch joke.
Cassandra says
Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath.
Lauren Becker says
Q: What’s a monster’s favorite bean?
A: A human bean.
Too funny! Makes me think of The Borrowers.
-Lauren
Angela heerde says
I like this joke–
Q: What do you call a cheesy Halloween dance?
A: The muenster mash!
Christina Gould says
My favorite is ‘what do you call a ghost on the ceiling?’. LOL. Thanks for the giveaway!
Stephanie Phelps says
My favorite is the Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night?
A: Tweets.
Denise S says
I like the vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor riddle.
Kim T says
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Veinilla.
Nancy P says
What do female ghosts use to do their makeup. LOL
Naomie says
I like this one!
Q: What do you call a ghost on the ceiling?
A: High-spirited.
Tom Bellamy says
I like – Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
mary rutter says
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Audrey Stewart says
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch.
latanya says
I love this one:
Q: What do you call a ghost on the ceiling?
A: High-spirited.
Terri S. says
My favorite riddle is:
Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
A: Vanishing cream.
Jackie says
My favorite is:
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin’ Goblin
Thank you!
Alison says
My favorite one is: Q: How do you write a book about Halloween? A: With a ghostwriter.
Pat says
My favorite:
Q: What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
A: Fish and ships.
Nancy Bowers says
My favorite:
Q: When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims?
A: On Fry Day.
Audra says
The Why do vampires need mouth wash joke made me laugh
Wendy R. says
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
haha!!
Tim says
My favorite is: Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? A: No, they eat the fingers separately.. I am also sure there is a good joke about using their brains!!!
susan smoaks says
this one is my favorite
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Veinilla.
sherry fowler says
my fav:
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Veinilla.
wen budro says
LOL My favorite joke is: Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
It’s corny but funny.
Jeanna says
My favorite joke is this one:
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Tiffani P. says
This one is my favorite: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? At the casketeria.
Em Mahr says
My favorite is: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
Elena says
What’s a monster’s favorite bean?
A human bean.
Helga says
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch.
SHANNA says
Q: What do you call a dancing ghost?
A: Polka-haunt-us.
Laura says
This one is my favorite! :D
Q: How does a witch tell time?
A: She looks at her witch watch.
Pam Halligan says
Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
A: You suck
Denise B. says
Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
A: Vanishing cream.
Kristi C says
My favorite is Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
A: Vanishing cream.
Chri5 says
Why do Vampires need mouthwash? Because they have bat breath lol
Maranda Hymes says
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Veinilla.
That is too adorable. <3
Caitlyn Young says
The pumpkin patch one was my favorite!!
Kelly Grant says
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Is my favorite.
Virginia says
What do you give a pumpkin to quit smoking?
A pumpkin patch
Michelle C says
My fav joke is:
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Linda K says
My son’s favorite food is Fettuccine Alfredo so I would pick What do Italians eat on Halloween? Answer: Fettuccini Afraid-O
Casey Garvey says
My favorites the Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o. Its cute!
Kimberly M says
My favorite one is:
Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until you’re spoken to.
Robin says
My favorite has to be What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets!
monique s says
My favorite is What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking, a pumpkin patch
Melissa Storms says
I thought this joke was pretty funny ,,.Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Kimberly M. says
Being Italian this one is my favorite.
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween? A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Amanda Rauch says
I love what does a witch do for her birthday? She spellabrates. Too cute!
Elizabeth Miller says
I like Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations? A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind. Sounds a little familiar–like my hubby lol
Ed says
Italians eat Fettucini -Afraid-O on Halloween!
DeeAnn S says
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
Tracy Robertson says
My favorite is the ghost asking the other ghost if it “believes in people”.
Stephanie Larison says
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Is my fave!
Julie Hawkins says
My favorite is what do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships!
Leela says
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Kyl Neusch says
What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies
Russ Higgins says
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Michelle H. says
I like what birds give out on Halloween nights. Tweets.
Kiara says
Ha ha these are great
Tara Woods says
My favorite is:
Q: What do you call a cheesy Halloween dance?
A: The muenster mash!
LeAnn Harbert says
What do you call a ghost on the ceiling? High Spirited
Laurie Nykaza says
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch . so cute
Sarah L says
The one that made me laugh the most:
Q: What do you call a dancing ghost?
A: Polka-haunt-us.
A lot of funny ones.
Thanks for the contest.
Lauren Hecker says
Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until you’re spoken to.
This is my favorite!
Hesper Fry says
My favorite is:
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Veinilla.
Alma London says
I love the pumpkin patch one.
Bernie Wallace says
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.
Allison Kusel says
I like the vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor one! So cute!!
clynsg says
I like ‘What is a skeleton’s favorite song?’
Bad to the Bone
Stephanie Liske says
I like the vampire’s favorite ice cream one. :)
kathy pease says
I like What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking? A pumpkin patch
Joanna Peter says
Q: What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
A: Fish and ships.
JAMIE MARTIN says
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
DanV says
My favorite is Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: “Do you believe in people?”
Keri Justice says
My favorite one is Q: What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Veinilla. Hahahahaha.
Lindsay A. says
I liked this one!
Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath.
Jerry Marquardt says
I liked the joke of “What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?”, as I mean spook until you’re spoken to…Lol.
Brittany says
What do moms dress up as for Halloween? Mummies
heather Kaufman says
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
My husband got badly burned 8 weeks ago & I told him that he could be a mummy for Halloween, because of all his bandages.
Trish Carlson says
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Amanda Whitley says
my favorite joke is the cereal killer joke.
Allyson Tice says
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch
Carolyn D says
This one is my favorite.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving.
Breanne says
I like Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
AEKZ2 says
I like What do you call when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A bamboo!
Trisha McKee says
My favorite is:
Q: How do you write a book about Halloween?
A: With a ghostwriter.
Christian Alejandro says
The “What do Italians eat on Halloween” riddle is a good one!
Philip Lawrence says
Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
BRIAN E. says
This one —>
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
Leah Shumack says
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Janine Hwang says
I like this one, Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
Sand says
My favorite is:
Q: What do you call a ghost on the ceiling?
A: High-spirited.
Buddy Garrett says
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo
Donna Kozar says
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Lyndsey R. says
I’m going to go with:
Q: What do Italians eat on Halloween?
A: Fettuccini Afraid-o.
Thanks for the chance.
Paol Trenny says
Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
A: Vanishing cream.
Funny Halloween Sayings 2018 says
It’s hard to come by experienced people for this topic, however, you sound like you know what you’re talking about!
Thanks
abdul says
awesome content!