Kick off the new year with some fun laughs with your kids! January Jokes are the perfect way to start your new year with smiles. Whether you’re looking for new year puns, jokes about January, or even January dad jokes, you’ve come to the right place!
These are all clean jokes so they are family-friendly. You can scroll down to get printable joke cards that you can use as lunch box notes or a funny joke of the day tradition with your family!
Q: What do you say on January 1st?
A: Last year just seems like yesterday!
Q: What do snowmen do in the New Year?
A: Chill out.
Q: What do you call a nice ghost on a cold January night?
Q: Where do you find Google during January?
A: The Winternet.
Q: What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A: A cold.
Q: What do you have in December that you don’t have in January?
A: The letter D.
Q: How did Jack Frost get to work on New Year’s Day?
A: By icicle.
Q: How can you farm during the winter?
A: Use a snow plow.
Q: What was the snowman upset in January?
A: He was having a meltdown.
Q: What do some couples do during the first month of the year?
A: Get Janumarried.
Q: What’s the best food to eat in January?
Q: What’s the best thing about January?
A: No more Christmas carollers!
Q: What was Dr. Frankenstein’s new year’s resolution?
A: To make new friends.
Q: What is a stinky resolution for the new year?
A: To bathe less often.
Q: What’s a New Year’s resolution?
A: A to-do list for the first week of January.
Q: What happened to the woman who stole a calendar on New Year’s Day?
A: She got 12 months!
Q: What’s the easiest way to keep your New Year’s resolution to read more?
A: Put the subtitles on your TV.
Q: How many seconds are in a year?
A: 12! January second, February second, March second…
Q: What did the Blue-Ray Disc announce on December 31st?
A: His hi-rez-olutions.
Q: What new year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?
A: To travel more.
Q: How can you be more efficient with New Year’s Resolutions?
A: Make a copy of your list so you can pull it out again every year.
Q: What was the dog’s New Year’s resolution?
A: Woof… and he really means it this year.
Q: What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?
A: Happy New Cheer!
Q: What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?
A: Hoppy New Year!
Q: What was the motivated lazy person’s new year’s resolution?
A: To procrastinate more.
Q: What is the most common New Year’s resolution?
Q: What is the first month of the year in Transylvania?
Q: Who helped Cinderella with her New Year’s Resolutions?
A: Her Janufairy Godmother.
Q: Why do you need a phone on New Year’s Eve?
A: To ring in the New Year!
Q: Which month does the Brady Bunch like most?
Q: What is the pig’s favorite month?
Q: What did the chimney resolve to do for the new year?
A: Stop smoking.
Q: Where do stormtroopers go to warm up on cold January days?
A: The Darth Mall.
Q: Why shouldn’t you kiss someone on January 1st?
A: Because it’s the first date.
Q: What’s the easiest resolution to keep?
A: This year, I’m going to be myself!
Q: What’s for breakfast on really cold January days?
Printable January Kid Jokes
Use the printable January jokes and riddles to ease the transition after the holiday season with a smile and some laughs.
This printable has two pages of jokes. You can print them on paper or cardstock and then cut them apart. Put one in your child’s lunchbox each day or put them all in a jar and pull one out to share together!
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